Easing Kids’ Anxiety About Climate Change Without Becoming Complacent Doomsdayers
When our kids were small, wanting to form them in the faith that for us had been life-giving, we read to them from various children’s Bibles, carefully navigating the fact many of its stories make for better B-horror movie material than bedtime reading for babies. Inevitably came the moment at age 3 or 4 when, having read them the story of Noah’s Ark and its attendant destruction of the earth, they cognitively connected the dots and asked, trembling, “is God going to do that again? Destroy the earth and everything in it?”
No, we’d answer wryly, and then add under our breath, “we’re doing that ourselves this time.”
Fast forward 15 or so years, and the news about climate change, already alarming when our kids were toddlers, is downright terrifying now that they are teens. When Donald Trump was elected president in 2016, Molly’s then 15-year-old son was lamenting what horrors his presidency might bring. Like any good liberal parent Molly said, “lucky for you, you will be insulated by your privilege: you are a white, straight, cis, male, educated, upper-middle-class Californian. You’re not personally at risk.” He looked at her levelly and said, “Climate change, Mom.”
We have to admit, the kids are right on this one: while climate change impacts vulnerable people disproportionately, the earth-wrecking that is happening on a global scale will change--and perhaps even take--all of our lives. The impact will be much greater for our children and grandchildren than for us - a fact that is prompting a new wave of millenials to choose not to have children at all.
And it’s already happening. Where Molly lives in Northern California, fall is becoming “smoke season.” During last year’s Paradise and Redding fires and for weeks afterward, her asthmatic 13-year-old was forbidden from riding her bike to school, playing outside, or even walking to the grocery store at the end of the block. It felt like nuclear winter. Where Ellen lives in suburban Massachusetts, multiple towns are currently under “curfew” due to the rising incidence of EEE (linked to warmer temps and migrating mosquitos). Coaches speed up the clock at soccer games to get kids in before dusk. Parents huddle on the sidelines discussing how much to say to the elementary age kids without scaring them, how often to spray them with chemicals like DEET they’ve been so careful to mostly avoid until now.
When we face the facts of climate change, it becomes increasingly hard not to feel an apocalyptic sense that this is all a terrible and eery harbinger of things to come. We delude ourselves into thinking that TV and movie portrayals of a time when not only energy but also time outside, oxygen, life itself, is rationed are fiction. They’re not. In some ways, that time is now.
This generation of children is already far more prone to anxiety than those before them. How do we talk to our kids, from toddler to teen and everything in between, about global climate change? How do we alleviate their worries--or should we be stoking them?
16-year-old Greta Thunberg, the Swedish climate activist who recently took a carbon-neutral sailboat to the US from Europe on her campaign to raise the alarm about climate change, has famously said to world leaders, “I don’t want your hope. I want your panic. I want you to feel the fear I feel every day. And then I want you to act...as if our house is on fire.”
Thunberg is using the principles of family systems theory, the idea that anxiety spreads through the connectedness of families like blood through a circulatory system, to move the anxiety where it needs to be: into the people in a position to make climate policy. She has called young people like her to strike from schools and take to the streets, and they showed up en masse. We need more parents, teachers and other adults, though, need to be there with them sounding the alarm until the people in power respond.
Part of the job description of parent includes worrying about the future. Often, we worry too much about tomorrow, and risk missing the kid we have today, parenting them in fear for who they may become, or what may happen to them, instead of in wonder at watching them unfold.
But as parents, we have a responsibility to worry about some things, like climate change. For too long, we have had our heads in the sand. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus said “let today’s worries be enough for today. Tomorrow has worries of its own.” Climate change, long a tomorrow-worry, has become a “today worry” for those of us in a position to do something about it.
We’re all for easing kids’ anxiety. There are already good resources out there for how to do it. But we worry that by focusing on easing our kids anxiety about climate change, we are inadvertently and inappropriately easing our own. We need to be more frightened for their futures. Sure, we do our part by recycling and driving a hybrid car if we can afford it. But we need to do more on a bigger scale, and parents (and Christians in particular) have political power if only we use it. What if we could use the fear we feel now, about EEE and poor air quality, the fall of fire and hurricane season, to take real action for their future?
Some fundamentalist Christians actually advocate for earth-wrecking because they believe the junk theology that says the sooner this world is ruined, the sooner God’s new reign will arrive. They willfully ignore the commandment given by God in the Creation story for humans to be good stewards of all this beauty God has made. They also ignore that the Noah story ended with God promising never, ever to destroy the earth and the people in it again. God is a Creator, not a destroyer, and, made in God’s image, we are called to be co-creators with Her.
This is the message we were trying to instill in our children so long ago with those bedtime Bible stories. It’s the message we want to give them today. But like any message, it’s only as believable as the messenger.
How to talk to/ ease kids anxiety about climate change:
Mitigate the worry: Ellen’s 9-year old was in her bed for two early morning hours last week terrified a bump on his ankle might be a mosquito bite that would kill him. She gently shared the facts with him in a way he could understand: it was possible but not probable that he or any of his friends would get a mosquito bite that would make them sick or even kill them. Very few of the mosquitos carry EEE. But we can make it even less probable by wearing bug spray and staying indoors when the most mosquitos are out and biting; just like we make you wear a bike helmet and a seatbelt in case of a possible but not probable car accident. The goal is to help kids to be careful without being overly cautious.
Focus on the helpers: Remind kids that there are politicians, activists and scientists working on new energy, vaccines and other things that may help to slow the negative effects of climate change. Share the story of Greta Thunberg and others with them. Point out the helpers when climate related crises arise: workers spraying for mosquitos, firefighters putting out and working to prevent fires, private citizens and nonprofits who respond in the wake of hurricanes, fires and floods. This week: find local climate strike activities near you here: https://globalclimatestrike.net/#join
Be a helper: Talk about jobs they might have in the climate fields, go to a march or protest, start a project in your community, church or at school, write letters, shop responsibly. While we want parents to do more, it’s okay and appropriate for kids to do smaller things. Remind them that even small actions matter. And remind them of the bigger actions you are taking to try to effect bigger change as an adult. Consider making some sacrifices as a family: fly less/Skype relatives more; walk or ride bikes to errands or commutes; teach young teens to take public transportation, drive all electric, STOP WASTING FOOD. See this interactive quiz from CNN to find out what you can start doing right at home to make a real difference to earth-saving. https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2019/04/specials/climate-change-solutions-quiz/index.html
What parents can do:
Vote. Vote for leaders who are willing and ready to take serious action on climate change. Vote on a national level and on a local level. As an example, make sure discussions of energy conservation and efficiency are part of discussions of new school buildings and buses in your district.
Mobilize: We’ve seen what parents and Christians both can do in coalitions for political change. As parents and progressive Christians both we have a responsibility to keep sounding the alarm for change until change happens. March with your kids in solidarity with the Global Climate Strike from September 20-27. Look into joining with groups like Parents Together Action or the Environmental Ministry of Molly’s denomination, The United Church of Christ.
~Ellen and Molly